Breaking Free From Codependency

Honoring the Memory of Melody Beattie

Dear Friend,

This week on Barb Knows Best, we are honoring the memory of Melody Beattie, a teacher and guide who profoundly impacted both my mom and me. Her wisdom, shared through her books and teachings, has been a beacon for us and for so many.

There’s a running joke in our house, that in any given room, you’ll likely find a copy or two of Codependent No More. I often say my mom passes that book out like candy, that’s how much she loves and believes in it.

If you’ve ever felt caught in a relationship where one person is always giving and the other always taking, you’ve likely experienced codependency. It’s a dynamic that can show up in romantic relationships, family dynamics, friendships, and even in the teacher-student sphere. Codependency is a trap, leaving no one happy—not the giver, the taker, or anyone around them.

I first encountered Melody’s book years ago during a difficult time in my life, caught in a codependent romantic relationship. Before then, I never identified as codependent—I thought it only applied to those in relationships with addicts. Melody’s book opened my eyes to the deeper ways codependency can manifest, and I’m forever grateful for the clarity and transformation it brought. Her teachings helped me release unhealthy patterns, and through them, I found a stronger sense of self and healthier ways of relating to others.

In this episode, my mom and I share how Melody’s insights continue to shape our lives and help us break free from codependent relationships. Wel explore how to step into your personal power, let go of self-sacrifice for others’ sake, and start building relationships rooted in confidence and mutual respect.

We hope you’ll join us in honoring Melody’s legacy and discovering how to release codependency in your own life.

Helpful Tips as You Come Out of a Codependent Relationship:

1. Start a Daily Practice: Whether it’s through meditation, journaling, affirmations, or a mix of a few tools, it’s important to learn how to best take care of your mind, body, and soul. What are your favorite ways to check in and reconnect with yourself?

2. Become Your Own Best Friend: Establishing a strong, centered relationship with yourself is key to not being reliant on others for validation and guidance.

3. Know Your Worth: Cultivate a sense of self-confidence and self-worth to believe you are deserving of your desires. You don’t have to settle for less than what you deserve.

4. Get Clear on Your Boundaries: Identify your non-negotiables and how you can best protect your peace in any relationship.

I hope this episode helps guide you in dissolving any codependent behaviors you may be facing. I want you to know that it is not shameful to feel this way; I’m pretty confident we’ve all felt these emotions at one point or another.

I also want to remind you that you are worthy of wonderful, loving, and supportive relationships. When we take the time to clean up our side of the street, we create space for amazing relationships to enter our lives.

As Melody Beattie wisely said, "We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person’s feelings." Remember, setting healthy boundaries is not about being unkind, it’s about honoring your own needs and protecting your peace.

In honor of Melody’s incredible legacy, let us continue to live by the lessons she so generously shared with us. Her work has touched countless lives, and I know we can all carry her wisdom forward.

With love and gratitude,
Michelle

I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences with codependency—please share with us in the comments below.